why am I still here

Friday was when life kick started all over again, my ladies & gentlemen went to the beach after school & well all just hung out there for a bit which was nice :) Tanna & I took Sandyna, Lina & Tiffany home then we went back to his to pick up his cousin & so he could get all prettied up again haha. I met the fathership :| & his oldest sister who is 13 (I'm only going with that from what I remember because Tanna doesn't even know himself because he fails) so that was... kinda cool :) I had a little aftershock though because it wasn't planned /sigh

After Tanna's, us three went to Macca's to meet up with the other two cars filled with random hobo's :P we ate & just bummed around (told you we're, I mean they're hobo's) Tiffany & her friends came by too & she greeted me with an unexpected slobbery kiss which smelt of alcohol :D I have been blessed with friends like her ahahaha. Everyone finished up by around 10:30 & we all went to this party down the road for a bit. Ann & Anna were supposed to be there but they left to go home already :( I saw LINDY! holy moly that's one girl I never thought I'd see on the dance floor like that :P & a few other sexy ladies :) LOL to the one guy who came up and started dancing with his arms in the air thinking I was his girlfriend, YOU FAIL :) cops came, party ended & we all just chilled in front of someone's house... yeah I'm fair sure someone from the group knew the owners of the house hahaha. Tu, Ly & I ended up going home around 1:30am. The night was definitely eventful :) Tu & I crashed at Ly's & on Saturday we went to the city for some lunch & then back to the beach again to chill for about an hour with some of the guys.

Lord I can't even be bothered with this stupid pointless post which I know bores you anyway. A few things have gotten me down today & I keep getting distracted with shit which is just fucking cramming into my head each and everyday. I want to rip my brains out & just throw it into the ocean, let it sink to the bottom of the ocean & hopefully I'll never get it back. I want my mind to be blank, I don't want to care about myself or anyone else, I don't want to care about school or my future & I just want to take a break from the world because sometimes I can feel everything I do care about slipping away from my fingers... Yeah... That's what I really want to say :)
This shit is happening all over again & I can't even take two weeks off school to even try help it this time.

Hope you have all had a lovely weekend ♥

I know I don't deserve any of it, but wish me luck for this week of school.