I wish this phase would just blow over.

I hate being alone. It's the one thing that scares me the most in this world.
It's getting pretty tiring trying to be happy all the time, perhaps if I stopped trying so hard it would just come to me. ...who cam I kidding? Am I really trying? I think I just need a job, (seeing as I still have no luck on figuring out what I want to do with my life) something to keep me busy and wear me out so I don't have all this time although it confuses me because I spent the last 2 years of my life wishing for this day to come where I'd finally get to be away from everything and get to just be me and stress free...now I'm starting to wonder if I really need the opposite.