Tired.

Just wanted to quickly get some things of my chest. You don't have to read this if you do not wish to, It is just about the issues of breaking up & moving on. P.s. Thanks for reading my blogs guys :)

I cried today because I was bloody tired. It wasn't fair being dragged back to the past. When you left me the first time I accepted that over time & went out & lived my life. But you had a problem with it... & we ended up "trying" the relationship again. I knew it was too good to be true yet I fell for your words. If I could fall head over heels for you, why not everything that comes out from your mouth right? But this time round you screwed up. We left each other because we couldn't take the shit & it was a final wake up call for how we just aren't right for each other anymore. & now... a month later, once again you couldn't accept the fact that you had lost someone good. Someone special in your life. I know it's hard to see me grow & move on with life without you right by my side but hey... I did it? Why can't you? I know you can... & I know you know it too. You just have to get your head around all this crazy junk & accept it. Think for yourself. You let me go okay... now you have to do it mentally. I know it takes time & I'm giving you all the time in the world + more. There is no rush to be freinds or anything. Stop worrying about the future & focus on what is happening now. Achieve your goal. I'm not even really upset anymore, there is no reason to be, I'm just tired. Very tired. Don't you see that I'm going through this too? But I'm living my life & learning from my mistakes, I'm picking myself up & I'm moving on. I' am happy. But it's just not fair when you pull me back & make me suffer with you without realising it.

Hey you know what I realised, when we broke up the first time we were apart for a month, then I came back to you.. that only lasted for another month, we broke up again... & a month later this has happened. Why the one month gaps? Can't you see that we're not good for each other anymore /sigh. Atleast this time I know I won't come back to you, whether you want it or not.

Okay. Now thats of my chest as I always do, there are positives.

/daggers to the person who reads my blogs & picks out the negatives to show him. If he reads this. He reads this. It's his decision & none of your business, stop being such a pest by giving him updates on me, you're not helping him let go.

Ahem, As I was saying. I'm glad you know you have no rights to teach me what's right & wrong in life anymore... You have to let me grow up on my own. Without you. & you know that's how It's supposed to be whether we like it or not. I'm still proud of you... even without talking to you or getting stupid feedback from people I can still see you growing. Your changing & moulding, as we all are. You've learnt to think things through more "deeply" as you've said to me & I'm glad :) I know this is the first time going through such a tough situation. Hey I'm going through it too? You need someone there for you... I'm lucky to have such a wonderful person/sister Mary in my life to help guide me through the wonders of life but you however seem to be relying on me for that factor. I'm cool with that... even though I shouldn't be but I suppose it's good to know you see me in that way sometimes. Potential good friends but we definitely won't be waiting on that now. Time will take its toll for whatever is going to happen in the near or distant future.

xx