Gooooooooooodevening lovelies! :) I just ate another bowl of watermelon >< who knows how long this craze is going to go for D: but that's not what I am here to tell you. I'm just throwing out a word of warning haha. I feel kinda funny at the moment... mixed emotions.
It's another Monday which means I'm back at school & it felt as though I hadn't seen my favourite ladies in ages. I've noticed that when someone leaves out of my life whether it be family friends or another form of loved one, I get scared. Scared to be alone. I always seem to need anyone around me, I need to keep occupied otherwise I'll start thinking & missing who ever is gone like hell till it hurts. I make a million plans with people so I don't have alone time & I get really paranoid when I'm not talking to anyone on msn or when I'm just sitting alone in my room... with nothing to do because the thoughts of the person have blurred everything else out. I try really hard to find hobbies and things to do so I can keep my mind busy so there's no space left to think. It's kinda crazy, but that (now that I realise) is how I get over things. I cry when I'm left alone... I cry when there's nothing left for me to do but think. What the hell is wrong with me, first I want my alone time back, & now I can't be left alone. What the fuck do I want.
Happiness.
Goodnight & sweet dreams my beloved blog readers
xx
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